Saturday, June 21, 2008

Tee Minus Seven

Saturday 21st June…already! Jesus, this day week and it will be all happening. As with all trips (but perhaps even more with this one due to the fact that we've gone public with it), the pressure to be ready for the start line is over five bars...seven bars being the optimum bicycle tyre pressure.

No, hang on. Maybe pressure is the wrong word. “Pressure is only for tyres” as Hardy would say. No, it’s not pressure, it’s just the to-do list gets longer the more I do! How’s that?

My current to-do list is written on the back of white envelope that originally contained my now lost Ulster Bank Credit Card statement. The list reads something like this at present: 1. Service bike; 2. Wash bike; 3. Book accommodation (let’s not go there! – 6 hotels booked, only 16 to go); 4. Agonise over whether to pack one jersey or two; 5. Learn Italian; 6. Shake off head-cold; 7. Buy sun cream, ass cream, strawberries and cream; 8. Sleep; 9. Cut handle off tooth-brush; 10. Attend my cousin’s wedding; 11. Stay sober at wedding; 12. Pay for consignment of EPO; 13. Administer EPO.

I have no idea why I need strawberries and cream– perhaps I’m subconsciously aware of Wimbledon. Tennis? Ah, now there’s a sport! Tip a ball around a lawn for an hour or two in the sunshine. Sitting down every 15 minutes to eat a banana and drink a cool glass of Robinson’s Barley Water. No such thing as wind, rain, chevrons, the bonk or washing your smelly shorts in a hand basin in a poky hotel bathroom in Verdun. A few grunts as you send your backhand down the line! Easy-peasy...but enough, I digress.

And that’s it! I have the answer. I’m a digresser! A procrastinator! A dosser! I write a list of things to do, feel a brief sense of accomplishment for having organised myself and then head off and do something completely different. Instead of tackling any of those 13 items this morning, I’m on the computer writing this blog. A bloody blog! A month ago I thought a blog was the type of house Zig and Zag lived in on Zog! Honest, it’s all that new to me.

In the meantime the list gets bigger – 14. Carbohydrate load, 15. Buy shirt for wedding; 16. Find and pay credit card bill; 17. Learn how to play tennis…

GC

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